I AM TRANSPARENT

 "i'm smiling but i'm dying..."

i am actually feeling so confused now... my mood often changes... timing is so close... luckily i am a jolly person so it really won't show... I AM TRANSPARENT... i dont really like people telling me or asking me why do i look unhappy or gloomy... so, smile and laugh! having a sad and gloomy face would just make me look ugly and old! hehe, i'm trying my best! this is me... emo nanaman ba hahaha! puro nalang sad story ko ano ba yan...

i think i'm having a bad eating habit at the moment coz i would always feel nauseous or very hungry or full... labo haha... the good thing is that i always have the energy to survive a whole day at work with the little ones...

something's happening or going to happen and i don't know what it is and i don't know who to talk to and what to tell... para bang life and death na hahaha

the truth is, i have a person in my mind to talk to about it but i am not sure about it yet so i don't have the courage yet to tell that person... i may be right but i may also be wrong... i am also scared of what that person would say and react... i should get ready... but even if i do, i'll be dead soon hahaha... no joke but this is gonna kill me... i think :'))

the feeling is quite heavy.. inside and out...

parang "get ready for the biggest shock of your life..." scary naman haha! i'm just scaring myself haha... expect the worst ba... hahaha!

i haven't started typing my last day with F1 boy... i just can't... yet... but just wait.. haha... *teary eye


xoxo,
thecolorblind